CCW Renewal Ventura County

[estim5059]

Should apply before three months of expiration

 

[Wolkenflieger]

I think you’re using the term “equal” in a different way to me, similar to how some people conflate “equality of opportunity“ with “equality of outcome” (I’m not saying you do that just that there’s an analogy). When I say that we are equal in our partnership, I mean her input and buy in on important decisions is as important as mine, not that we are the same.

Of course men and women are different in important ways (especially on average, bell curves and all that), and I agree with your statement about how natural selection created that dichotomy. However, I sufficiently vetted my spouse and know that she is far more rational than many women (or people in general), I know she has no ignorance or fear of guns, and I know she respects my intelligence and opinions enough to listen to my reasoning on any topics we may disagree on. Guns are one thing I would not compromise on, which is why I made sure we were on the same page before committing (kids are another, along with other life goals). If we disagree on something not as important to me, I may decide to compromise and let her have her way as i recognize she may know more than me about a topic (again, the important things are already discussed and vetted).

I’m the leader and defender in our relationship because that fits my temperament and physical/mental abilities better than hers. I’m stronger, faster, and quicker thinking than she is, and have more experience with both guns and fighting. She also enjoys feeling taken care of and safe, so she willingly defers to me out of trust even if she thinks differently about a decision in my realms of responsibility. She’s also more thoughtful, creative, nurturing, etc so I often defer to her on things like how to design and cultivate our home, what to focus on in our social life, and many other things. There is a give and take, we embrace the positive masculine and feminine energy in each other, and we’re both better for it.

Marriage/prenups is a whole other topic but all I have to say is sometimes one has to take Rosales in life to reap the best rewards. Different strokes for different folks I guess, and I understand your position.

Gee we really got off topic here, didn’t we…

Agreed on everything but equality may not be the best word for her input in areas where you're the expert and leader. Input? Sure. Equal partner? Sure, but not equal opinion where one does not have equal skill, knowledge, experience, interest, etc.

100% agreed on equality of opportunity and not outcome, a la Jordan Peterson.

You also agreed that certain areas are non-negotiable which is probably true in some areas for her as well, meaning her input would not be equal to yours if she was dead set against guns. To your point again, if you didn't lead in certain areas she probably wouldn't like that, just like she might not have dated you if you were a lot shorter than her. The sexes are still operating on primordial software when it comes to attraction. Most women expect men to lead and defend as it's part of the calculus of attraction.

However, you're right about give and take. If something is very important to my girlfriend I'm more likely to give her free rein if it's not a big deal to me. If she said, "No guns in this house" I would question why she thinks she can make declarative statements like that.

My girlfriend and I have been together going on 29 years, and thankfully there's no common-law marriage in CA so at least CA gets that right.

 

[HSVentura]

I didn’t mean to imply you weren’t going to have the discussion; I was siding with you and agreeing it’s something you have to talk to your partner about unlike the dude who said “just be a man” lol

Good on you for turning her around; I’ve had to do that with girlfriends in the past and it isn’t easy sometimes… glad I found one who is already on board with it

Good luck on getting your CCW!

Thanks man. And appologizes for my assumption. I wrongly assumed it was a follow on to the other guy responding to my comments.